I’ll carry your books, I’ll carry a tune, I’ll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash and carry, “Carry Me Back to Old Virginia,” I’ll even Hara Kari if you show me how, but I will not carry a gun.

— Hawkeye (Alan Alda), M*A*S*H

Well, that was a piece of cake, eh K-9?

— The Doctor (Tom Baker), Doctor Who, “The Key to Time”

Piece of cake, Master? Radial slice of baked confection … coefficient of relevance to Key of Time: zero.

— K-9 (John Leeson), Doctor Who, “The Key to Time”

Well, that was a piece of cake, eh K-9?

— The Doctor (Tom Baker), Doctor Who, “The Key to Time”

Leland … Leland, the time has come for you to seek the path. Your soul has set you face to face with the clear light, and you are about to experience it in its reality, wherein all things are like the void and cloudless sky and the naked spotless intellect is like a transparent vacuum without circumference or center. Leland, in this moment, know yourself and abide in that state. Look to the light, Leland, find the light. Into the light, Leland, into the light. Into the light, Leland … into the light … Don’t be afraid.

— FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan), Twin Peaks

Leave the quotes to the expert.

— The Doctor (Sylvester McCoy), Doctor Who, “Time and the Rani”

Jeepers, he holds the world’s fate in his hands and he can’t drive a stick!

— Mike Nelson (MST3K)

A “BAD TRIP”?!? You mean, we could smoke this and end up in Cleveland? This could be risky!

— Tom Servo (MST3K)

I’m not here to judge, I’m just here to point and giggle.

— Hal Sparks, Talk Soup

About this Page

This is an excerpt from my quote file. Things that I've found inspirational, profound, food for thought, but most of all, funny.

This portion is for the “Television” category. The complete list can be found here, or via the links below.

Return to my blog.

By Attribution