Mr. E - My Quotefile

A celibate clergy is an especially good idea, because it tends to suppress any hereditary propensity toward fanaticism.

— Carl Sagan, Contact

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“I [Darl McBride, President & CEO of SCO] am also disappointed that you have chosen litigation rather than [Roll over and die].”

Consider this a declaration that the Open Source Community does not negotiate with terrorists.

— Stephen Samuel, “Re:good faith discussions,” Slashdot (on McBride’s reaction to Red Hat seeking an injunction against SCO’s libelous smear campaign against Linux (emphasis his))

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We are Borg. Resistence is futile. You will be assim — AWWWWWWW … Token Ring!?!?!?

— Joshua Eli Schachter

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— Peter Schickele, The Definitive Biography of PDQ Bach (PDQ Bach’s epitaph, as requested by his cousin Betty Sue Bach and written by the local doggerel catcher)

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A non-vegetarian anti-abortionist is a contradiction in terms.

— Phyllis Schlafly

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that’s us — cryptopunks and cryptofreaks, road warriors on the information superhighway

— roo (Andrew Stellman)

I am the rumble strips of the information superhighway!

— Dmitri Schoeman

i am the ‘travel bingo’ of the information superhighway

— Chad McDaniel

I'm the state trooper of the information superhighway.
Pay me $40 or lose your accounts :-)

— Rob Earhart

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Just as most issues are seldom black or white, so are most good solutions seldom black or white. Beware of the solution that requires one side to be totally the loser and the other side to be totally the winner. The reason there are two sides to begin with usually is because neither side has all the facts. Therefore, when the wise mediator effects a compromise, he is not acting from political motivation. Rather, he is acting from a deep sense of respect for the whole truth.

— Stephen R. Schwambach

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It is a scientific fact that the human body cannot survive for more than 72 hours without water, however, for some of us anything more than 20 minutes is pushing it.

— An old Scubapro advertisement

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A “BAD TRIP”?!? You mean, we could smoke this and end up in Cleveland? This could be risky!

— Tom Servo (MST3K)

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Adults are just obsolete chidren, and the hell with them.

— Dr. Seuss

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Nature abhors a hero. For one thing, he violates the law of conservation of energy. For another, how can it be the survival of the fittest when the fittest keeps putting himself in situations where he is most likely to be creamed?

— Solomon Short

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If we insist on creating programs smart enough to make up for the deficiencies of lusers, we end up fighting with both lusers and programs.
This is not progress.

— skeeling@mts.net

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Is it just me, or does anyone else read “bible humpers” every time someone writes “bible thumpers?”

— Joel M. Snyder

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I’m not here to judge, I’m just here to point and giggle.

— Hal Sparks, Talk Soup

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it’s against my religion to drink to escape problems. i can only drink to cause problems.

— Geoff Spear

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hacker Instance who really gives a fuck about Tonya Harding
Date: 18:39:27 on Sun Feb 6

TV really needs killfiles …

— Geoff Spear

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that’s us — cryptopunks and cryptofreaks, road warriors on the information superhighway

— roo (Andrew Stellman)

I am the rumble strips of the information superhighway!

— Dmitri Schoeman

i am the ‘travel bingo’ of the information superhighway

— Chad McDaniel

I'm the state trooper of the information superhighway.
Pay me $40 or lose your accounts :-)

— Rob Earhart

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— Andrew B Stellman

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Rosencrantz:

Do you think Death could be a boat?

Guildenstern:

No, no, no … Death is … not. Death isn’t. The ultimate negative. Not-being. You can’t not be on a boat.

Rosencrantz:

I’ve frequently not been on boats.

Guildenstern:

No, no, no … What you’ve been is not on boats.

— Tom Stoppard, “Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are Dead”

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C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot. C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.

— Bjarne Stroustrup