I guess she’ll stop acting weird now that i’m not a guy.
— Kerry Hagan
- NITVWIT, n.
- Any person who can’t find reverse gear in a Volkswagen.
— Rich Hall, Sniglets
Do not seek death; death will find you. But seek the road which makes death a fulfillment.
— Dag Hammarskjold
- Virgil “Bud” Brigman:
- Linds, I want you to stay away from that guy. I mean it.
- Alan “Hippy” Carnes:
- The guy is gone. Did you see his hands?
- Lindsay Brigman:
- What? He got the shakes?
- Virgil “Bud” Brigman:
- Look, he’s operating on his own. He’s cut off from his chain of command. He’s showing signs of pressure-induced psychosis, and he’s got a nuclear weapon. So, as a personal favour to me, will you try to put your tongue in neutral for a while?
- Alan “Hippy” Carnes:
- I got to tell you, I give this whole thing a sphincter-factor of about 9.5.
— Ed Harris, Todd Graff, and Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio; The Abyss
The meek shall inherit the earth. The rest of us are going to the stars.
— Robert Heinlein
There are three schools of magic.
One: State a tautology, then ring the changes on its corollaries; that’s philosophy.
Two: Record many facts. Try to find a pattern. Then make a wrong guess at the next fact; that’s science.
Three: Be aware that you live in a malevolent Universe controlled by Murphy’s Law, sometimes offset by Brewster’s Factor; that’s engineering.
— Robert A. Heinlein, The Number of the Beast
Memory never recaptures reality. Memory reconstructs. All reconstructions change the original, becoming external frames of reference that inevitably fall short.
— Frank Herbert, The Mentat Handbook
Opinions are like assholes — everyone’s got one, but nobody wants to look at the other guy’s.
— Hal Hickman
Waitaminit! Why are we following the Tarka??
— Mav (Chris Holly)
José … José is our Master … José decides who shall remember … and who shall forget.
— Mav (Chris Holly) (in the Toy Story “Claw people” voice)
Goodbye my brothers, I go to unconsciousness … a better place.
— H. Jameel al Khafiz (in a similar voice)
It is well to remember that the entire population of the universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others.
— John Andrew Holmes
I regret to say that we of the F.B.I. are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce.
— J. Edgar Hoover
I’d prefer voice-activated controls, too; I just don’t think I can implement that in my attention span.
— Heath Hunnicutt