Any MySQL fanboi who so much as insinuates that it is anything other than the half-assed, inconsistent, steaming pile of shit (in a usage that degrades the term) kludge that it is will face my wrath.
That also goes for anyone caught using the terms "MySQL" and "database" or "enterprise" in the same breath. Even with some kind of superlative negative in between. You're still suggesting that the thought entered your mind.
Edit: Yes, yes. It's my own damn fault for building a major component relying on a feature that's new in MySQL 5. They can't even do right what they claim they've always done, what was I smoking when I suggested trusting something new?